If you’re always trying to avoid doing something “wrong,” ANY perceived criticism will throw you off kilter. So basically…I have a long way to go. Which will it be? […] First Agreement Second Agreement Third […]. We think the world revolves around us and everything people do is specifically targeted to us. Learn how your comment data is processed. To download/print, click on pop-out icon or print icon to worksheet to print or download. Let’s pause on that. Don’t create judgements about other people because they are not you. I love, love, love how much less I am liable to personalize someone else’s mood and tude. © 2018 AMBER-ALLEN PUBLISHING, INC. | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Therefore, when somebody directs something in your direction, and you take it personally, many times it has more to do with them than it has to do with you. They aren’t specific to personalizing, but often associated. A line drawing of the Internet Archive headquarters building façade. SO, did last week’s Message, “Be Impeccable with Your Word” start anything for you? Don’t choose suffering. And we can do that by knowing what we say and how we say it. Ok, next up is The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions. Be grateful for all your blessings and share them with your family and friends. DO not be a victim to others’ opinions…don’t take things personally. “Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about ‘me’.” Perfectionism and personalization go hand-in-hand. It also works really well to confirm your own negative beliefs. At the time we get offended we have given our power to that person. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Ok, let’s jump in! According to Ruiz, even if someone says something hurtful like “You’re fat” or “You can’t do anything right,” it still has nothing to do with you. Ruiz explains, “Nothing other people do is because of you. It had nothing to do with you.” And then you get into the whole cycle of trying to explain and correct and adjust, and so it goes. Instead of looking deeper at what emotions and beliefs lie beneath that insecurity, you simply stop talking to him/her. Again, it’s never about you. Perfectionism and personalization go hand-in-hand. In the texting scenario, it confirms your belief you’re meant to be single or you’re not good enough or you’re meant to be alone. Look within to find the wounded place, an old story and heal it. How do I just BELIEVE that I’m good enough or even wonderful? Ruiz says the outside world teaches us how to live. But you CAN control how you respond. There could be 100 reasons you didn’t get a text. Any way we can stay connected with you…right! Intellectually that may sound ridiculous or extreme, but it’s what we do all the time without realizing it. This teaching doesn’t imply that if your behaviour is offensive and somebody calls you out on it, that you don’t take it personally. To truly know who we are, what we are made of? The first step is to notice when it happens so you can catch yourself in the moment and shift your perspective. How often haven’t you become offended by the actions of others when they have nothing to do with you? Author of The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz, and Oprah examine the second agreement: Don’t take anything personally. Your reality is simply that: YOUR reality. Please don’t hold on to the judgements of other people because they’re not about you. It gives you an excuse to direct your anger toward someone else. Did you consider your words and what they were telling you about yourself? It is because of themselves. I can recall walking my first bichon, Tosha, she was getting old, walking slow, her fur not as thick, you could see her age spots through it. This agreement is so hard for me. You’ll be triggered. For example: Becoming aware of how often you personalize moves it out of autopilot so you’re able to recognize it in the moment. Nys Common Core Mathematics Lesson 17 Problem Set. One day, you get no text, so you automatically think you did something wrong. We want to use our words to build up, not take down. Their reality is THEIR reality. This is how you keep yourself stuck, with a limited perspective of what’s possible. Don’t take anything personally. We are in our second week of this new series on the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. You’ll feel that internal sting, or want to run away and hide. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you will be the victim of needless suffering.”. We are in our second week … I have no idea what’s going on with them, so once I connect with that, I’m able to let it go. Some of the worksheets for this concept are The four agreements, The big ideas the four agreements, The four agreements work, The four agreements, The four agreements, The four agreements, The 1st agreement, The four agreements pdf.

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